If my class reunion and family reunion were to take place at the office, it would be called “Facebook Live”. I worry about the balance in the universe when a coworker somehow interacts with someone from my family or group of friends. They should always remain separate, no need for a Justice League to be started up.
My family is who I complain about my office problems to, my coworkers are who I complain about my family to, and my friends are still drunk from last night. I don’t need any side going all Snowden on me.
Unfortunately, this happens way more than you think it does.
Every so often the human virus from any side gets a notion to explore the other parts my world. A coworker or family member infiltrate the Facebook profile of a friend, usually from a posted comment (Stalker level 1). I imagine when they do this they go all “He who shall not be named” Voldemort and take snake form. I’d pay a monthly premium to have notification when this happens and an “Eject Troll Button” that not only “unfriended” the perpetrator but also blasted their screen full of unsavory pornography that could only be described as “We think this is human???”.
For realz! Get back in your corner you creep! My good friend’s wife will not sleep for days after you (complete stranger) wandered off to her profile and shared your thoughts on her post about what to do when her cat throws up (Correct Answer: get a dog).
Some people might say “That’s what privacy settings are for” which is true. These are probably the same people that might say “If my shotgun fits in my gun holster, I don’t see what the problem is with me being in the toy store with my family, Officer Terrorist. I’m not going to shoot anyone!”
Is it really too much to ask for people to not be so creepy? Why should I have to sculpt my account to Rambo level?
I have to study the “people” in my office and more or less make them go through an application process to be considered for access to my Facebook life. It’s not so much if I find them interesting enough to see what cat pictures made them “lol” 4 times a day; it’s more about keeping the perfect recipe. If I’m making a cake, I’m not going to throw in a box of nails. Facebook is not a pretty cake that’s near and dear to my heart but for as little as I use it, I need to make careful decisions or I could be jeopardizing my friendships with people I’m not paid to tolerate.
There’s a simple rule I bring into consideration before accepting a coworker’s friend request:
Have I ever heard this person say “Facebook” while at the office?
If the answer is yes, that leads me to believe this person is a Facebook troll. The very air they breathe is dependent upon their obese interaction through the social media site. Facebook is their life support and if they don’t “like” something soon the world might forget about them. I could see this person asking me if I had seen their comment thread on a picture that was taken before I even knew/wanted this person in my life or telling me how upset they are about “Julie’s post last night.”
As much as I’d be interested in the creation of the infamous and nonexistent “Dislike button” on Facebook, I would still prefer my idea of the “Eject Troll Button.” At least then the trolls wouldn’t want to tell me about what they saw on Facebook last night.